Thanks to Viagra, 65 years is the new 20

Old men, young girls.

It’s the new trend in town. Such couples have become more prevalent and more socially acceptable in recent years. In certain corporate circles, especially among financially successfully men, the practice is so common that these young women, usually second wives are referred as “trophy wives”.
With medical advancement, older men have the ability to enjoy a fully active sexual life with erectile enhancing drugs such as Viagra. At the same time fertility drugs have extended the child bearing years of women.

The internet has also made it possible for people of all ages to connect without meeting face to face, which makes it easier to have cyber relationships with men and women form different ages.
Some men date and marry younger women for their looks and youthful spirits, and it makes them feel younger. Some young women go for older men because they have it all.
It is a business transaction. He’s got loads of dime and she has got loads of beauty. Put the two together and you have got quite an explosive situation. Romance. Sex. Beaches. Bahamas. Yet, when his money runs out she will look for a richer man. If she’s not using him, then she might be with him because of he is patient, laid back, mature and gentle. However, you will never see a younger woman with a destitute old man, money still factors.
Why do younger women date older men?
Younger women on the other hand date older men for financial stability, social status and long-term security. Women want men who have more than just oral sex on their minds; they want men who know every single sensual spot on (and in) their bodies, and who take the time to explore them thoroughly.
The challenges
Though as exciting as it might be these type of relationships come with a few challenges. The energy levels will be different, by 10.pm he has got his pajamas on and reading glasses on his nose. That very moment she has her dancing shoes on heading to the clubs. If he doesn’t keep up she might seek someone younger who can keep up with her.
We can’t deny it. Older men have maturity and knowledge that only comes with experience and age. But this could also cause a problem in a relationship where the age gap is 10-30 years.
The interests and goals of the man and woman would also differ which makes it difficult for the relationship to last.
One of the other challenges for the younger woman is to have children with this man who in a few years will need babysitting and adult pampers. The women will end up nursing an aging ill man while she’s in her midlife ready to live life.
The downside is also that the chances of the older man falling sick are higher than the chances of women falling sick and she could be widow at a young age than the older man becoming a widower.

Now in such marriages the girls have no powers or say in family decision making processes which places her in a vulnerable situation, because the marriage was not with her consent but her. It is also acceptable in certain areas that in society people take it as normal cultural customs.
Despite the challenges it brings, the age gap has some perks for the younger partner, including financial stability. While the younger woman might end up taking care of her older husband the relationship might have started with the premise that the older man financially successful, will provide the women with stability, security and status.
While couples might work the age gap within themselves, their families and friends will not be so accepting. The age of the man could be a problem with the soon-to-be in-laws, if the man is as old as or older than the in-laws.
While social snubs are easier to shrug off, the conflicts at home will be more challenging. The younger woman might be expecting to be best friends with their partner will the older men might not be up for the physiological talk.
Moreover with age and illness the man’s sexual performance might suffer. It is important that the couple find other means of sexual pleasure and common interests.
The couple should accept that part of the deal of being with partners from different generations is caring for each other.

Only one person admitted: “I would marry an older man, but he doesn’t have to be older than my father. They are more mature and know how to treat a lady, plus the young men are just players.” Because it is considered controversial, she told me she would rather not have her parents read her name in the paper. And what did the rest say?
Nyakim Nyandong 30: No I wouldn’t marry a man older than my father. However you can if you want to, but there a lot of challenges. He will restrict you from doing certain things, like spending time with your girlfriends going to work etc. He will say that its your friends that are feeding your mind with wrong things. He will get jealous of everyone you talk to. You will not have a life you will not enjoy your life.
Auntie Janet: No, I don’t think it’s a good idea, because he will be too old to satisfy you sexually. He will die early leaving you to take care of the children by yourself. Marry someone whose age is not too wide, maybe 5 to 10 years older.
Betty, 27: No I can’t. It is like your father at least you can marry the son.
Mary, 22: No I can’t marry a man older than my father.
Poni 25: No I can’t. I mean I’ve dated a man 17 years older than me, but I knew my parents would have objected to it, but I really cared for him. But then when we start having children he will be a bit older and by the time one reaches 10 years old he will be retiring. That wasn’t going to work. END

A perfect smoothie for a heated Juba

Before I sign off, this may benefit someone. With the scorching heat in Juba, one definitely needs a cooler. What better way to cool down than with a smoothie using only the best local ingredients you can get in the local market. Here we go:

• 1 ripe banana
• 1 ripe mango
• 200ml/almost a cup full orange juice
• 200ml milk
• 3 spoons fresh cream/yoghurt

Slice the banana and roughly chop the mango flesh. Add orange juice, milk and cream. Place into a blender and process until smooth. Pour into a glass, and add a couple of ice cubes. Makes 400ml
Purchase your fresh fruits at Konyo Konyo market, and the milk and fresh cream/ yoghurt at either Jit or Phenicia supermarket.